Category Archives: Liberating Self

Persist When Change is Slow and Bumpy

hand-reach-moon

Who do you see when you think about someone never giving up as they reach for their goal?

I think of Scrat (a squirrel-rat) from the children’s movie Ice Age. Food is scarce, and he never gives up on reaching the last acorn. It doesn’t matter how many times he drops it or falls, Scrat always has his eye on the goal. He tackles each obstacle with bold fearlessness.

Scrat does get frustrated but he persists. How persistent are you when your goals are hard to reach? If you get frustrated, do you turn to a quick fix? If yes, you have probably been moving in circles. You find short term relief yet need to start the change process all over again.

Instead of going in circles, develop your own persistence machine in your mind. Cultivate your own wisdom about how you learn and change. In doing so, you will be more objective about change.

Wisdom for Persistence:

I am not as bold and fearless as Scrat. I can move in circles until I find my own way to keep moving despite discomfort and obstacles. These thoughts help me stay on course when I’m reaching for goals that seem out of reach:

  • Recognize Change Takes Time – When we are uncomfortable, we look for quick fixes and short cuts. We can’t hurry change, but we can push through the discomfort to keep moving toward our long-term goal.
  • Movement Towards Your Goal Varies – And progress toward change isn’t typically a straight line. We have good and bad days. Look for overall progress to gain, more than getting stuck in how you feel on a certain day.
  • Set High Value Goals – Make goals that are more important to you than your discomfort. If you focus on goals that you highly value, it will be easier to do it even when you don’t want to.
  • Turn Off Self-Critical Voice – If you are someone who can easily get stuck in negative self-evaluation, find ways to turn this negativity off. Get back to focusing on sureness and progress more than mistakes.
  • Stay in Present Moment – Focus on what you can do today, instead of worrying about the future outcome. You can deal with what is more than your what if’s.

Cultivate Your Own Wisdom:

Think of what you are trying to change. Are you encountering progress toward your goals as a bumpy ride? Know that it is possible for each of us to adapt and ride the waves of change. Progress may not be quick but you keep moving toward your acorn.

Before you try on my wisdom, know that this won’t carry you through what you are trying to change. My ideas will only work for a limited time. Cultivate your own wisdom by finding what works for you to persist despite obstacles.

What thoughts sustain you when change gets hard?

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Photo Credit: “Reach” by James Jordan

Say No To Busyness and Yes to Yourself

girl-horse-relax

As I walked my youngest child to his first day of Kindergarten, my stomach was doing summersaults. I worried that tears would burst out of me like a broken dam. Yet I watched my brave young man walk with confidence into his classroom and wave goodbye. I knew I too could look forward to this new season of my life. 

I am now a mom with two school age children. My world doesn’t have to close down on me – it can open up. I am dreaming of spa time, lunch dates, and more time to myself.

However I soon learned that I wasn’t very good at turning off the busyness and just being with myself. I heard other mom’s talking the first day of school about taking the day off to hang out, do their nails, and meet for coffee. But I was more focused on getting more done with less interruptions.

With more time to myself, I got busy checking things off my to do list. I had one lunch date with a friend, but I didn’t truly make time to just be and enjoy myself. I focused on doing more instead of doing less. My dreams were fading and my energy was waning.

“Many modern women mistake the feeling of being under stress for having energy.” ~ Claudia Welch

I decided to put myself on my to do list by making a rejuvenation date with myself. It would be a day to nourish who I am by doing what I love most. I knew it may be hard for me to stay with a day for myself, so I needed a simple solution to help me stick to it.

4 Simple Steps to Create Your Own Rejuvenation Date:

Have you ever wanted to make more time for yourself but have trouble sticking to it? Woman who are trying to be “supermoms” find this especially challenging. It’s time to say no to busyness and plan a day to nourish and celebrate yourself.

1. Make a Rejuvenation List – Write down things that nourish you. Things you enjoy, that make you smile, and bring you peace. Here’s my list:

  • Shower and put on pajamas
  • Paint my nails
  • Read for fun (or learning)
  • Call or email a friend (or family member)
  • Listen to music
  • Breathe in the sunshine
  • Sing out loud
  • Be creative (write, paint, etc.)

2. Focus on Being With Your List – While your mind may wander to work that needs to be done, try your best to bring yourself back to your rejuvenation list.

3. Cross Off Items As You Enjoy Them – Today is the day you get to cross off any item you want to do for yourself. You don’t have to complete the whole list, just let yourself wander to what is most appealing to you in this moment, in this day.

4. Rejuvenate For Longer Than is Comfortable – You may worry that you are neglecting getting those other to- do lists done, but push yourself beyond your comfort zone. For today taking care of yourself is your to do list. Those other tasks can wait.

In fact, put yourself on your to do list every day. And on occasion treat yourself to a whole day of the things that rejuvenate your tired and wired self. You may even enjoy your day, so much that you take an unplanned nap! I did.

What will you have to say yes or no to in order to make taking care of yourself a priority? (I would love to hear from men too – what rejuvenates you?)

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Photo Credit: “Relaxing & Horsing Around” by Chuck

Liberating Resources Survey Stirs Giveaway

open-book-window

“Drench yourself in words unspoken. Live your life with arms wide open. Today is where your book begins.” ~ Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield

The year lays ahead of you like blank pages in a notebook. Are you anxious to fill in the pages of your life?

You may love the story of your life. Or, you may feel like crumpling it up and starting over. No matter where you are in your life’s story, there is always a new beginning around the corner. Just a page turn away.

“Staring at the blank page before you. Open up the dirty window. Let the sun illuminate the words.” ~ Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield

As you stare at your blank pages, I want to be a resource for you. A few of you share how you want to write your life’s story:

  • Less quick tempered
  • End procrastination
  • Squash complaining
  • More positive outlook
  • Improve self-confidence
  • Master time management
  • Sleep and exercise well
  • Vibrant health

I’m on this journey too, as a fellow life traveler. Each day, I’m a work in progress, not a masterpiece. But we are beautiful as we work on ourselves; that is, if we choose to view learning life’s lessons this way.

I will continue to share what I’m learning in life and my work. I want to use this writing space well by exploring what’s working and what’s not.

Please share your journey with me by telling me how I can be a resource to you. Answer my 7 Question Survey.

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Giveaway: To thank you for completing my survey, I’m giving away one print copy of my Taking Charge of Your Worry E-book. Your survey responses are recorded anonymously. To be entered in the drawing, please leave a comment below, stating: “I did it.” (Winner will be announced on January 18, 2011.)

Photo Credit: “Untitled” by Stephane O