Tag Archives: worry

Dreams Come True by Staring Down Obstacles

Posted on October 3, 2011 | 9 Comments

girl-balloon-rainbow

Do you have a dream list? A list of at least 10 things you wish you could do. Yet, you aren’t making your dreams come true, because all you see are obstacles standing in your way.

I’ve long held onto the dream of writing a book. Yet, I let internal obstacles, like doubt and uncertainty, stop me. After blogging for a year, I found the courage to put my thoughts together in an e-book to share with you.

The day arrives when I sit down to write, and my anxiety spikes. I worry that no one will find it useful or interesting. Or, maybe I won’t be able to finish it.

I find myself at a crossroads where I am the obstacle. I can let the worry direct my path or I can keep moving toward my goal in spite of my worry.

I chose to start writing, and not let the worries stand in my way. I focus on my goal of completing the book, instead of the what ifs spinning in my head. And, my worry gets quieter as I pay less attention to it. 

“Obstacles are like wild animals. They are cowards, but they will bluff you if they can. If they see you are afraid of them…they are liable to spring upon you; but if you look them squarely in the eye, they will slink out of sight.” ~Orison Swett Marden

I stared my obstacles down by continuing movement toward my goal. Now, I am excited to share my excitement with you of a dream fulfilled.

What are your dreams? Is worry standing in the way of making a dream come true?

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Or, would you like to take a stand in the face of everyday worries? While I haven’t learned how to eliminate worry, I have learned how to interrupt worry and release built up tension.

If you would like to learn more, please subscribe to my mailing list. You will receive my FREE e-book, Take Charge of Your Worry, plus regular e-mail updates on my latest articles.

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In this e-book, you will learn over 10 ways to manage anxiety without medication:

  • What you can do to relieve tension
  • What you can say to interrupt worry
  • How to recognize sneaky worry
  • How to adapt the strategies and find what works best for you (2 printable worksheets)

You can’t eliminate all worry, but you can show your worry that you are in charge. Take a stand and find:

  • Your confidence boosts
  • You invite joy and peace
  • You release tension
  • You prevent worry from creating more symptoms and relationship problems

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Please help me make a wave by sharing my free e-book via Twitter and Facebook.

Photo Credit: Colors by Camdiluv

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Posted in Liberating Emotions

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When Helping Hinders Child’s Wings From Growing

Posted on September 19, 2011 | 5 Comments

butterfly wing

A butterfly takes flight for the first time, showing it’s beautiful colors. What would happen if it feared the transformation? Or a fellow butterfly hindered it’s flight? The butterfly’s wings would freeze or get stuck in it’s cocoon.

As parents, it is hard to see our kids get stuck. We want to see them grow and reach their dreams. And, we would do almost anything to help them reach their goals. But, when does helping our kids hinder their growth?

Re-learning A Parenting Lesson

Recently, my daughter learned to ride her bike. It was a much longer process than I anticipated. Her fear got in the way. She would start peddling, get scared, and stop. For months, I held on to her seat, her arm, or her back until we were both tired of trying.

I almost lost hope. Then, I realized that I needed to let go. I was holding on too tight and hindering her flight. By holding on to her, I was agreeing with her fear, that bike riding is scary.

When I let go, she just did it. She couldn’t believe that she was riding all by herself. To see her do it all by herself was gratifying to both of us. It was a day to celebrate.

Letting Go and Letting Growth

What about you? Are there areas you might be holding your child back from growing?

I wasn’t intentionally holding her back. I was trying to be patient, yet was treating her fragile. I had tried talking to her about facing her fears, but it didn’t help. My actions didn’t match my words.

I had to get out of the way, and show her I wasn’t afraid. By letting go, I invited both her triumphs and her falls. I was no longer treating her fragile and hindering her wings from growing.

As parents, we don’t intentionally get in the way of our child’s growth. In fact, it is really hard to see how we could be interfering with our child’s mastery of a task or conquering a fear.

Markers of Over-Helping

How do you know when your helping is getting in the way of your child’s growth? In theory, the more one thinks they have all the answers, the more the other one has none.

Here are some markers of over-helping:

  • You think you have all the solutions, while your child doesn’t seem to have any solutions.
  • You spend great time and energy trying to solve their problem.
  • You want them to reach the goal more than they want it.
  • You treat your child fragile as if they are broken, lost, or sick.
  • Worry about your child is guiding you more than the facts.

I wanted my daughter to master this new task more than she wanted to. I expected her to master it as fast as I did. I was worried that she would be the only  one on the block her age that couldn’t ride a bike. And, I eventually let her worry convince me that she needed a lot of help.

Fear Turns Into Joy

Once my daughter faced her fear without my interference or over-helping, she smiled so big. She told me, “Now, I believe what is in my heart, instead of what my worry says in my head.” My heart melted.

Not all challenges that kids face are this easy to overcome. As you know, once you learn to ride a bike, you never forget. Yet, most challenges are faced again and again. We have many opportunities to let our child grow and learn.

Ways to let go and let kids grow:

  • Ask them what they think will help.
  • Be present when they stumble and struggle without having all the answers.
  • Put your worry in a container, so they can find their own way.
  • Share when you observe them mastering a new skill even if it’s sporadic.
  • Believe in them.

Just like my children, I stumble and slip up. I am re-learning how to let my children face their fears without getting in the way. I can let them show all their colors as their wings get stronger. In doing so, fear becomes joy.

Let me share one of our joys. It’s a song my daughter and I enjoy singing together, even if out of tune – “Butterfly Fly Away” by Miley Cyrus. Enjoy:

 

What parenting lessons are you re-learning? Where do you need to let go and let grow?

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Related Posts:

Let Kids Grow Up Without Fretting and Fuming

What Not To Do: When Your Child Fears the Dark

Photo Credit: “Broken Butterfly Wing” by Claudio Gennari

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Coming Soon: My e-book is finished on Taking Charge of Your Worry. I’m putting on the finishing touches and working on delivery services. It will be available very soon!

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Posted in Liberating Parenting

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What To Do When You Can’t Sleep

Posted on August 29, 2011 | 11 Comments

relax-surf-board

I adore sleep. Resting in a gentle cocoon of blankets. Shielding me from my to-do list. When I’m asleep, I completely let go, float, and ride the easy waves of my breath.

Is your sleep always this peaceful and restful? About once a year, I go through a month of insomnia. I look for causes, maybe it’s allergies, stress, overworking, or hormonal changes. No matter what I try, I still wake up in the middle of the night, unable to return to sleep.

Insomnia-Worry-Go-Round

I could easily get stuck on the insomnia-worry-go round. Instead of worrying about never getting another good night of sleep, I am working on accepting the way it is. I’ve decided it’s my body’s way of resetting my brain (and maybe my life).

I’m choosing a new way to think about insomnia. Because the more I worry about it, the more awake I stay. When my mind is racing, my body has a hard time relaxing.

Worry is one of the biggest contributors to insomnia. Once you have trouble sleeping, you usually start to worry about not sleeping. You can see how hard it can be to get off the worry-go-round once you start spinning.

7 Ways to Manage Worry about Insomnia:

It’s time to get off the worry-go-round, and find your personal way of embracing what is. If you have great sleep hygiene but are unable to drift back to sleep, what do you do?

  • Get out of bed and read a novel in dim light. When you feel yourself start to drift off, return to bed.
  • Stay in bed and practice deep breathing, meditation, or calming yoga poses.
  • Find something relaxing to do for 8 hours while fasting from electronic devices. No cleaning, work, texting, etc.
  • Don’t watch your clock tick, calculating how many hours until work or school starts.
  • For a morning pick me up, drink less coffee. Instead give green teaa try.
  • Know that your sleep will return. Remember, this too will pass.
  • If your insomnia doesn’t pass, it’s okay to consult your physician regarding sleep aids. There are medications and supplements that won’t add to your next day fatigue and drowsiness.

Although I love to get a restful night of sleep, I know I can’t force it to happen. Instead of focusing on what if I never sleep well again, I focus on drifting on waves of relaxation.

What helps you manage your worry about insomnia?

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Photo Credit: “Relax” by Scarleth White

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Posted in Liberating Health

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