Keep Romance Alive with Respect


What keeps romance alive? Being your partner’s equal.

Believing in others as much as we believe in ourselves. This is fertile ground for romance to bloom, instead of wilt.

I haven’t always allowed others to navigate their own paths. I had all the answers. I underestimated others ability to solve their own problems. I preached, prodded, advised, and educated many, while losing a few along the way.

Born the oldest, leading and caring for others has come naturally. Yet, I took it too far. I mothered my own mother, my brother, my friends, and my boyfriends.

Now, I consciously practice respecting others wisdom. It may be different than my own, but I am no better, no worse. We are all equals. We fall & soar.

Find out how romance igniting, respecting your partner can be. How do we let our partners solve their own problems with love and grace?

7 Ways to Respect Your Partner

Tolerate Discomfort – Start with yourself. We often give unsolicited advice due to our own discomfort. It can be hard to watch others struggle. We want to protect them. But doing so, protects them from their own growth. How long you can feel uncomfortable before you try to fix your partner’s problem?

Accept Differences – Everyone grows and learns at a different pace. We may take a different path but reach the same goal. Differences are not better or worse, just different. Vow to respect your partner’s pathway. What works for one, may not work for another.

Recognize Reciprocity – Even the most well-intentioned helping can contribute to another’s depression. The more helpless one feels, the more the other gives advice. The more advice one gets, the more helplessness is felt. The cycle continues. How can you interrupt your part in this cycle?

Practice Self-Responsibility – Be responsible for yourself. Not out of anger, but out of respect for others and yourself. This opens the door for relating as equals. You are journeymen on the road of life.

Keep it Internal – No need to tell your partner that you are letting them solve their own problems. You don’t need to rub another’s nose in the problem. Keep your thoughts about your partner to yourself.

Listen with Empathy – Being less worried about fixing the problem will invite better listening. Hearing your partner’s thoughts and feelings may surprise you. Imagine what it’s like to be in your partner’s shoes. 

Be Present – Connections will be more personal when you take advice-giving away. Telling someone what you think about them is not personal, nor romantic. Be present, sitting next to your loved one. Your respect will shine through your presence.

“It’s never the glory.
It’s never the score.
It’s not about seeing who’s less and who’s more.
Cuz when you find out how fast and how far,
You’ll know it’s not how much you have,
It’s who you are.” – Randall Wallace, Theme Song from Secretariat

Our partners can run their own race. They can bloom, even when we don’t prune and pluck their weeds. They may wilt, but they can also be hardy. We can show love by honoring their own journey and respecting their way.

How do you respect your partner’s personal journey?


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Photo Credit: Mark Sebastian

6 responses to “Keep Romance Alive with Respect

  1. great post. great picture.

  2. This is a very insightful post! I’m so glad to have found my way to your blog through Momentum Gathering! I also have found it very easy to try to caretake other people’s emotions, thanks for the reminder that often the most caring thing you can do is trust the people you love to make their own way.

  3. ” They can bloom, even when we don’t prune and pluck their weeds.”– I definitely need to remember this at all times. As a hands-on, take-charge kind of gal, I have a tendency to want to get involved in things that may not necessarily need my kind of energy. It’s important to be wholly supportive without feeling the need to get involved or take over.